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Here are some of our favorite jokes. Roll your
mouse slowly over the question marks (or let it hover there for
a couple seconds) to see the answers. You
can also open a
PDF file of
jokes and answers. |
| 1. How
do you know baseball players are rich? 2. What did Zero say to Eight? 3. Why don't elephants like to go to
the beach? 4. What kind of soda do trees drink? 5. Where do chickens go on vacation? 6. What did the baseball glove say to
the ball? 7. What did the paper say to the pencil? 8. Why did the light bulb fail his math
test? 9. Why did the boy eat his homework? 10. How do you make one disappear? 11. Where do kids learn the ABCs? 12. If two balls of string ran a race,
which one would win? 13. What did the librarian say to the noisy
vegetables? 14. How do bees get to school? 15. What kind of pictures do sailors paint? 16. Have you heard the one about the jumprope? 17. Where do crayons go on vacation? 18. Why did the clock get sent to the
principal's office? 19. Why did the baseball player shut down
his website? 20. Where does a sheep put his books?
21. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? 22. What did the light bulb say when it
was turned off? 23. What kind of house weighs the least? 24. What happened when the students tied
their shoelaces together? 25. What did the pen say to the paper? 26. What is a lion's favorite thing to
study in history? 27. Why aren't elephants allowed at the
beach? 28. What did the policeman say to the popsicle? 29. Why did the rabbit's teachers go on
strike? 30. Why did the tree fail his math test? 31. Why did the bald man put a rabbit on
his head? 32. What do a pencil and a joke have in
common? 33. What do you get when you cross two
chickens and a brown cow? 34. What did one math book say to the other
math book? 35. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
37. What did the shark eat with the peanut
butter? 38. What are caterpillars afraid of? 39. Where did the farmer take his pigs
on a sunny Sunday afternoon? 40. Why did the baseball player bring
rope to the game?
41. Why should you never tell secrets
in a cornfield? 42. Do you know why bees buzz and hum
so much? 43. Do you know how to catch a unique rabbit? 44. What did the shrimp say when the lobster
stole his food? 45. What did one strawberry say to the
other? 46. Why is a dog so hot in the summer? 47. What do you call a
fish with two knees? 48. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great
fall? 49. Why was the inchworm angry? 50. Why did the flute break
up with the harp? 51. What happens to an air
conditioner when you pull its plug? 52. Why isn’t your nose
twelve inches long? 53. Did you hear the joke about
butter? 54. What did the girl cantaloupe
say to the boy cantaloupe? 55. What do you call cheese
that is not yours? 56. What did Mama Tomato tell Baby Tomato
when he was walking too slow? 57. What did the sushi
say to the bee? 58. Why didn't the teddy bear
eat his dinner? 59. What do you call a cow
that can't give milk? 60. How do you fix a broken
pizza?
61. What do you call a couple
of doctors? 62. What’s the name of the vampire
who lives in your kitchen? 63. What did Ernie say when Bert asked
him if he wanted ice cream? 64. Why did the baby cookie cry? 65. What did one plate say to the other? 66. Why did the orange stop in the middle
of the road? 67. What’s the difference between
a teacher and a train? 68. What did the lipstick say to the teacher
when she got a bad grade? 69. Where did the belly dancer go to college? 70. What do you get when you cross a teacher
with a vampire? 71. What’s the tallest building in
the world? 72. What is a cow’s favorite subject
in school? 73. What did one book of maps say to the
other book of maps? 74. Why did the scientist install a knocker
on his front door? 75. Did you hear the one about the cross-eyed
teacher? 76. What kind of boat do smart kids travel
on? 77. What do you call a tree that grows
poems instead of fruit? 78. Where do pencils go on vacation? 79. Can February march? 80. How did the butcher introduce his
wife to his friends?
81. What did the egg say to the farmer? 82. What did one decimal say to another?
84. What do you call a crate full of ducks? 85. What's the difference
between a train conductor and a teacher? 86. Why do giraffes make good friends? 87. What do lions say before they go hunting
for food? 88. What do you get when you cross a bear
with a cow? 89. What’s the difference between
a bird and a fly? 90. Why does steak taste better in space? 91. Why do gingerbread men wear pants? 92. Why wasn't the butterfly invited to
the dance? 93. Why don’t nuts go out at night? 94. Why don’t frogs get life insurance? 95. What do you get if you cross a hunting
dog with a journalist? 96. What did the left eye say to the right
eye? 97. Did you hear the one about the quicksand? 98. Why did the mop visit the broom? 99. What did the dirt say to the rain? 100. What did one caterpillar say to the
other?
101. What do farmers like most about school? 102. Did you hear about the butcher who
backed into the meat grinder? 103. What do chickens study for? 104. What did the buffalo say when his
boy went off to college? 105. Why can’t leopards cheat on
tests? 106. What kind of food likes to talk? 107. Why did the art student fail his
test? 108. What color is the wind? 109. Why couldn’t the frog find
his car? 110. Why do mummies like the holidays? 111. What kind of witch sits on sand? 112. What kind of tree is always sad? 113. Did you hear the one about the pig
who did his own laundry? 114. How do you wake up Lady Gaga? 115. How do you paint a rabbit? 116. Where do horses live? 117. Why did the runner bring his barber
to the Olympics? 118. What kind of animal is smarter than
a talking parrot? 119. When does it rain money? 120. Why shouldn't you cry when a cow
slips and falls?
121. Where do snowflakes dance? 122. What kind of car do elk drive? 123. Why are chefs considered cruel? 124. Why did the repairman write on sandpaper? 125. What did one earthquake say to the
other? 126. What kind of train makes people sneeze? 127. Did you hear the one about the fungus? 128. What do you call a pig that wins a
jackpot? 129. If Frosty the Snowman married a vampire
what would they name their child? 130. Who says "Oh! Oh! Oh!"? 131. Why can't you keep secrets in a bank? 132. Where did King Arthur go to college? 133. Where do baseball players wash their
socks? 134. What can be right but never wrong? 135. What do you call a kitten that cheats
on a test? 136. Who's the best dressed animal? 137. Why do scientists like baseball? 138. Which travels faster, heat or cold? 139. Did you hear the one about the broken
pencil? 140. How did the music teacher clean his
teeth?
141. What's a ghost's favorite
painting? 142. Which state is round on
the ends and high in the middle? 143. What asks no questions but receives lots of answers?
182. What do you get
from a cow with a split personality? 185. How does a farmer count his
cows?
205. Why do you always find things
in the last place you look? 206. Why do turkeys have small
appetites? 212. What is the richest kind
of air?
226. Why were the baby strawberries
crying? 228. What
did the comedian say to the cattle rancher?  233. What did the baked potato say to the cook?
234. Why was Cinderella such a poor runner?
253. What do you call a grandfather clock?
261. What happened to the boy who laid down in front
of the car? 269. What do you get when you cross a gangster and
a garbage man? 276. Why did the girl sleep on the chandelier?
287. What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas
tree?
301. How
did the comedian like his eggs?
346. What do you get if cross a cat with a canary? 347. What kind of ship never sinks? 348. What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? 349. Why did a man bring a rope to a baseball game? 350. When is a boy not a boy? 351. What do you call two pigs that write letters to each other? 352. What can you keep and give away at the same time? 353. Did you hear the story about the peacock? 354. How did the egg laugh? 355. What is a pirate's favorite cookie? 356. What did the frog order when he went to McDonald's? 357. How did the artist paint his masterpiece? 358. Why couldn’t the dog talk? 359. Where do restless travelers like to go? 360. Where do worms like to travel? 361. How does Robin Hood get from here to there? 362. How can you tell when a cowboy is really upset?
363. How do fireflies learn their multiplication facts? 364. What did the windows do when they saw a storm coming? 365. What did the paper say when the scissors were bothering him? 366. How do you know when a sewing machine is sick? 367. What did Pinocchio say when he was asked if he was telling
the truth? 368. What do 24 hours do at night? 369. What is Santa’s favorite Easter candy? 370. Where do bees come from? 371. What do you get when you cross a movie theater with a palm
reader? 372. Why was the bathtub really tired? 373. What do dogs always take on camping trips? 374. How did the pig sign her baby’s birthday card? 375. Why shouldn’t you tell a pig a secret? 376. How do lightning bugs see in the dark? 377. How do you make a hotdog shiver? 378. What kind of money can you find at the beach? 379. How did the plant get lost on his vacation? 380. What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit? 381. How do you stop a charging rhinoceros?
383. Why did the football coach go to the bank? 384. What do you call a bear with no teeth? 385. Why didn’t the kitchen window like the living room
window? 386. Why did the fish get married? 387. Why was the weatherman arrested? 388. What did the jack say to the car? 389. Where do you take injured bees? 390. Where does a mother robin keep her money? 391. Why did the ice cream parlor go out of business? 392. Why did the hammer get in trouble?
393. What did one "Most Wanted" poster say to the other? 394. Why did the fox sell his fur? 395. Why don’t rockets play football? 396. What did the duck say to Jack Frost? 397. What kind of vehicle do hitchhikers like to ride in? 398. Why couldn't the crab learn to share? 399. What kind of job did Daniel Boone’s brothers have? 400. What did the beaver say to the tree? 401. What did the watch say to the clock? 402. What did the nose say to the ear? 403. Why wouldn't the apple join the other fruit in the salad? 404. When is a gardener like a story teller? 405. Where do old bowling balls end up?
406. Why do hens make good cheerleaders? 407. Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? 408. What is a runner's favorite subject in school? 409. Why don’t grasshoppers go to soccer games? 410. What is a forum? 411. Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river? 412. What did the colonists wear at the Boston Tea Party?
414. When do astronauts eat? 415. What kind of hair do oceans have? 416. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg? 417. How did the telephones get married?
418. What kind of car should you take to Disneyland? 419. What runs but never walks? 420. Where does success come before work? 421. Where do rabbits go after their wedding? 422. What's worse than raining cats and dogs? 423. Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? 424. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? 425. What does a baby computer call his father? 426. Why did the computer keep sneezing? 427. Why was the computer cold? 428. Why did the pirate wear camouflage shorts? 429. What did Baby Cheese say to Mommy Cheese when he was sick? 430. If 2 is a couple and 3 is a crowd, what is 4 and 5?
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This
site was created by Karen Powell. Last update: May 16, 2012 ©2007-2012 |
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