Welcome to Miss Powell's Class!
Jokes
Enjoy the jokes!

Here are some of our favorite jokes. Roll your mouse slowly over the question marks (or let it hover there for a couple of seconds) to see the answers. If you have a funny joke that you would like to share, send us an email. Your joke just might end up on our website!

 
1. How do you know baseball players are rich? They always play on diamonds!

2. What did Zero say to Eight? Nice belt!

3. Why don't elephants like to go to the beach? They always get sand in their trunks!

4. What kind of soda do trees drink? Root beer!

5. Where do chickens go on vacation? Sandy Egg-o!

6. What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Catch you later!

7. What did the paper say to the pencil? "Looking sharp!"

8. Why did the light bulb fail his math test? He wasn't very bright!

9. Why did the boy eat his homework?His teacher said, "It's a piece of cake!"

10. How do you make one disappear? Add a "g" and then it's gone!

11. Where do kids learn the ABCs?In L-M-N- tary school!

12. If two balls of string ran a race, which one would win?Neither, they'd be tied!

13. What did the librarian say to the noisy vegetables?Quiet, peas!

14. How do bees get to school?On a school buzz!

15. What kind of pictures do sailors paint?Watercolors!

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16. Have you heard the one about the jumprope?Skip it!

17. Where do crayons go on vacation?Color-ado!

18. Why did the clock get sent to the principal's office?It was tock-ing too much!

19. Why did the baseball player shut down his website?He wasn't getting any hits!

20. Where does a sheep put his books?In his baaaaackpack!

21. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?He felt crumby.

22. What did the light bulb say when it was turned off?I am de-light-ed!

23. What kind of house weighs the least?A light house!

24. What happened when the students tied their shoelaces together?They went on a class trip!

25. What did the pen say to the paper?I dot my "i" on you!

26. What is a lion's favorite thing to study in history?The Civil Roar!

27. Why aren't elephants allowed at the beach?They keep walking around with their trunks down!

28. What did the policeman say to the popsicle?Freeze!

29. Why did the rabbit's teachers go on strike?They wanted a better "celery"!

30. Why did the tree fail his math test?He was stumped!

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31. Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?He needed the "hare"!

32. What do a pencil and a joke have in common?Neither one is any good without a point!

33. What do you get when you cross two chickens and a brown cow?Chick-a, chick-a, brown cow!

34. What did one math book say to the other math book?You think you have problems...

35. Why is 6 afraid of 7?Because 7, 8 (ate), 9!

36. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

Pumpkin "Pi"!

37. What did the shark eat with the peanut butter?Jellyfish!

38. What are caterpillars afraid of?Dog-erpillars!

39. Where did the farmer take his pigs on a sunny Sunday afternoon?On a pig-nic!

40. Why did the baseball player bring rope to the game?He wanted to tie the score!

41. Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield?Because corn has ears and cornstalk.

42. Do you know why bees buzz and hum so much? They don't know the words to the songs!

43. Do you know how to catch a unique rabbit?You neak up on it!How do you catch a tame rabbit?Tame way!

44. What did the shrimp say when the lobster stole his food?Gee, you're shellfish!

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45. What did one strawberry say to the other?If you weren't so fresh we wouldn't be in this jam!

46. Why is a dog so hot in the summer?Because he wears a coat and pants!

47. What do you call a fish with two knees?A two-knee fish!

48. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? He wanted to make up for a bad summer!

49. Why was the inchworm angry? He had to convert to the metric system.

50. Why did the flute break up with the harp? The harp was stringing her along!

51. What happens to an air conditioner when you pull its plug? It loses its cool!

52. Why isn’t your nose twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

53. Did you hear the joke about butter?Never mind, you’ll just spread it around.

54. What did the girl cantaloupe say to the boy cantaloupe? We are too young, we can't elope!

55. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho cheese!

56. What did Mama Tomato tell Baby Tomato when he was walking too slow?Ketchup!

57. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasobe!?

58. Why didn't the teddy bear eat his dinner? He was stuffed!

59. What do you call a cow that can't give milk? a milk dud

60. How do you fix a broken pizza? with tomato paste!

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61. What do you call a couple of doctors? pair-a-medics!

62. What’s the name of the vampire who lives in your kitchen? Count Spatula!

63. What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted ice cream?"Sher-bert!"

64. Why did the baby cookie cry? His mother was a wafer so long.

65. What did one plate say to the other? Dinner's on me!

66. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.

67. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says “spit out your gum” and a train says “choo choo”!

68. What did the lipstick say to the teacher when she got a bad grade? Can I make it up?

69. Where did the belly dancer go to college? The Navel Academy!

70. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?a blood test!

71. What’s the tallest building in the world? A library, of course! It has the most stories!

72. What is a cow’s favorite subject in school? Mooooooosic

73. What did one book of maps say to the other book of maps? Atlas we are together!

74. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his front door? He wanted to win the No Bell prize.

75. Did you hear the one about the cross-eyed teacher? She couldn’t control her pupils.

76. What kind of boat do smart kids travel on? scholar-ships!

77. What do you call a tree that grows poems instead of fruit? poetry

78. Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencil-vania!

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79. Can February march? No, but April may!

80. How did the butcher introduce his wife to his friends? Meat Patty!

81. What did the egg say to the farmer? I'm too young to fry!

82. What did one decimal say to another? Did you get the point?

83. What do you call a tuba player, a trombone player, and a drummer when it’s a hundred degrees outside?

a sweatband

84. What do you call a crate full of ducks? A box of quackers!

85. What's the difference between a train conductor and a teacher? One minds the trains, and the other trains the mind.

86. Why do giraffes make good friends? Because they always stick their neck out for you!

87. What do lions say before they go hunting for food? Let us prey.

88. What do you get when you cross a bear with a cow? Winnie the Moo!

89. What’s the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird!

90. Why does steak taste better in space? Because it's meteor!

91. Why do gingerbread men wear pants? Because they have crummy legs!

92. Why wasn't the butterfly invited to the dance? Because it was a moth ball!

93. Why don’t nuts go out at night? They don't want to get assaulted!

94. Why don’t frogs get life insurance? Because they are always croaking!

95. What do you get if you cross a hunting dog with a journalist? A news hound!

96. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells!

97. Did you hear the one about the quicksand? It takes a while to sink in!

98. Why did the mop visit the broom? It wanted to get the dirt!

99. What did the dirt say to the rain? “Thanks to you my name is mud!”

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100. What did one caterpillar say to the other? “Let’s see you worm your way out of this one!”

101. What do farmers like most about school? Field trips!

102. Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

103. What do chickens study for? Eggs-ams!

104. What did the buffalo say when his boy went off to college? "Bison!"

105. Why can’t leopards cheat on tests? Because they are always spotted!

106. What kind of food likes to talk? A talk-o!

107. Why did the art student fail his test? He drew a blank!

108. What color is the wind? Blew!

109. Why couldn’t the frog find his car? It was toad!

110. Why do mummies like the holidays? Because of all the wrapping!

111. What kind of witch sits on sand? A sandwich!

112. What kind of tree is always sad? A weeping willow!

113. Did you hear the one about the pig who did his own laundry? It was a bunch of hogwash!

114. How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face!

115. How do you paint a rabbit? Use hare spray!

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116. Where do horses live? In neigh...borhoods!

117. Why did the runner bring his barber to the Olympics? He wanted to shave a few seconds off his time!

118. What kind of animal is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!

119. When does it rain money? Whenever there's change in the weather!

120. Why shouldn't you cry when a cow slips and falls? Because there's no use in crying over spilled milk!

121. Where do snowflakes dance? At a snow ball!

122. What kind of car do elk drive? El Caminos!

123. Why are chefs considered cruel? Because they beat eggs and whip cream!

124. Why did the repairman write on sandpaper?He was giving his customer a rough estimate!

125. What did one earthquake say to the other? It's all your fault!

126. What kind of train makes people sneeze? A choo choo!

127. Did you hear the one about the fungus?It grows on you!

128. What do you call a pig that wins a jackpot?Filthy rich!

129. If Frosty the Snowman married a vampire what would they name their child?Frostbite!

130. Who says "Oh! Oh! Oh!"?Santa walking backwards!

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131. Why can't you keep secrets in a bank?Because of all the tellers!

132. Where did King Arthur go to college?Knight School!

133. Where do baseball players wash their socks?In the bleachers!

134. What can be right but never wrong?An angle!

135. What do you call a kitten that cheats on a test?A copy cat!

136. Who's the best dressed animal?The porcupine always looks sharp!

137. Why do scientists like baseball?They like looking at slides!

138. Which travels faster, heat or cold?Heat... You can always catch cold!

139. Did you hear the one about the broken pencil?It's pointless!

140. How did the music teacher clean his teeth?with a "tuba" toothpaste!

141. What's a ghost's favorite painting?The Moan-a Lisa!

142. Which state is round on the ends and high in the middle?O-hi-o!

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This site was created by Karen Powell. Last update: February 27, 2010
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